'Films to See' 3 Moulin Rouge! (2001) by Kim J. Osborne

As a girl, if there was a film that I had to recommend for a quiet night in with that significant other or to have the girls round to watch; making popcorn, passing the champagne bottle around too etc etc, it would definitely and undeniably have to be the film ‘Moulin Rouge!’

‘Moulin Rouge!’ (2001) is a wild and zany musical set in Paris during the time of the French revolution and I must say, it has to be one of my all-time favourite films.

The film tells the story of a fresh and innocent writer named Christian (Ewan McGregor). He has travelled from London to experience Paris and all that comes with it in hopes that it shall enflame his passion to write as it has so many others. While he is there he gets tangled with a failing stage company run by Toulouse-Lautrec (John Leguizamo) who persuades him to pitch a play to the devious, circus ringleader Harold Zidler (Jim Broadbent), the manager of the famed night-club The Moulin Rouge. Along the way Christian falls in love with the young and gorgeous courtesan Satine (Nicole Kidman) who, as we find out has been promised by Zidler to the perverse, high-class nobleman who we only know as ‘The Duke’ (Richard Roxburgh). The film tells the story of Christian and Satine’s ‘Forbidden Love’ as they produce the Moulin Rouge’s first ever stage play.

I’ll be honest, I J’adore this story. It’s first and foremost a musical-comedy-drama and deserves to be watched by everyone whether young or old. The story is told in such a way that it is easy to get totally sucked in and feel personally involved with the beautifully written characters. The writer has done an amazing job to keep the audience hooked throughout the film and, I think has portrayed the Moulin Rouge, the REAL nightclub in the perfect way, especially for the time that  it is set in.

On first impressions the film can simply be said to be an explosion of wild colour and music, look closer however and it is obvious to see that it is so much more than that. The striking scenes are complimented by a running theme similar to that of the 1996 Romeo+Juliet also a Baz Luhrmann film. He seems to be fond of the effect which draws an audience into the zone, bringing a unique buzz to the experience and leaving the viewer feeling wholly satisfied

Being a musical, before I watched it, I wasn’t exactly sure what to think about it. Reading about the story before, I wasn’t sure how the writer would put across the seriousness of the plot without taking the proper Michael out of it. With my doubts still intact I watched it.

The first thing to strike me was the use of old film grain at the beginning to introduce the film, this is complimented with the first song introducing the main character. If I can be honest it was a tiny bit cheesy but then made up for it when the camera zooms towards Christian sitting at his typewriter. The use of lighting in this scene is simply beautiful and really makes the audience feel the emotion that is going through Christians head as he talks about his loss (Spoilers!) I found I could really connect with him as he tells his story about coming to Paris.

I won’t talk that much about what happens as I really do not want to spoil it for the rest of you although I will say this; the ending is expected but also at the same time unexpected. You get so involved with the story that you will forget about the inevitable which makes the ending as hard-hitting as it can be.

Overall, as you can probably tell, I fully enjoyed this film. It will play with your emotions, drawing you up one moment and then dragging you down the next. I would recommend it to absolutely everyone who can appreciate the beauty of theatre combined with a love of cinematography and then sprinkled with a delightful amount of the 'Green Fairy'. The sheer effort that must have gone into this film is staggering and I hope those who haven’t seen it have the chance to watch it as soon as possible.

              With love,

                         Kim J. Osborne

                         www.twitter.com/KimJOsborne

'Films to Forget' 1: The Human Centipede (2009) by Matthew Battles

While there are some truly God-awful films out there, I think I'm safe to say that this film takes the top prize in my book as a film worthy to forget.

The feature length film (barely making it that far as it just barely crosses the 90minute line) 'stars' Dieter Laser - as the demented Dr Hieter I'll talk about him a little later, Ashley C. Williams and Ashlynn Yennie as *Insert horror movie cliché alert here* two hopelessly shallow, lost, blonde American tourists travelling through the German Backwoods *sigh*, and Akhihiro Kitamura another tourist but from Japan who doesn't speak a word of English and guess where the good Doctor decides to place him in his horrible scheme?

Oh, the film also 'stars' Andreas Leupold and Peter Blankenstein (real surname on imdb) as two of the most ridiculous movie detectives I've ever seen... Bernard Kostrau also puts in an appearance in the film as, and I'm quoting his imdb character here - Dirty Man in Car - a character who appears for little more than a minute, and makes obscene sexual comments to our two plastic female stars.

Barely five minutes into the film, our two female characters are lost in the German forest. They spend the next few minutes bickering, they're supposed to be best friends but have less Chemistry than a GSCE science project, before they come to the house of Dr Hieter - the only house around for miles.

If that's not bad enough the obviously creepy doctor invites them in and offers them drug spiked drinks...

The Gormless girls in the house of Heinous Hieter

After explaining his ingenious plan to his horrified three captives - I'd just like to take a second and say that this scene carries the best acting in the entire film - but lets face it - who wouldn't be repulsed as someone tells you that he is intending to cut your cheeks off and stitch you permanently to the arse of another human being? One of the female characters decides to make a run for it and gets caught in the pool by the doctor who then delivers the only line worth quoting in the film; "You are going to regret your little escape, in fact I'm thankful for it, because now I know definitely you are the middle piece!"

While the film is said to be 100% medically accurate, I would take this with a pinch of salt - the simple fact that a single doctor could not carry out this operation; three sedated people would need constant monitoring as the operation is carried out to make sure that none of them dies is bad enough, but to even pretend that a person could survive being attached to another person's arse is simply ridiculous - a little juvenile here but - a single fart would actually kill the person behind them!

So once you've gotten over the shock of these three people permanently stitched together you then remember that these characters are about as three-dimensional as a Pancake! They came out of nowhere, have no personality and don't seem to have any redeeming or sympathetic qualities, you simply don't care. In fact by the end of the film you simply wish they'd all shut up because you've spent the last 45 minutes (at least) listening to them moan!

Now onto the main character Dr Hieter. Hieter is actually based upon a real person; Doctor Eduard Wirths - A Nazi (surprise, surprise) surgeon who was obsessed with the thoughts of attaching organs and limbs onto the body of another (usually this was done with twins) to see if they could make a better soldier.. Hieter is - like the rest of the cast - two dimensional. He has no personality, no history, no motivation for his crimes and no redeeming features.

I have no idea how this film was even funded, though I will say this for the film - it does provide horror fans with a slightly horrible ending; after a daring escape attempt by 'The Human Centipede' the Japanese front piece randomly gives a monologue about how horrible a person he is and how he deserves to be in his agony before delving a piece of glass into his throat and dying. Dr Hieter then returns to his pool and kills the two police officers and somehow taking a bullet to the forehead in the process and dying. The two remaining members of the centipede then clasp hands as the back piece sobs her last breath and the 'middle piece' is then left to scream and moan and cry as the camera pans upwards.

However, despite all of the characters deaths in the film - it has been announced that the director of this trainwreck is releasing a sequel; 'The Human Centipede - Full Sequence' featuring a 25 person centipede. Cue my suicide.

By Matthew Battles 

http://stages-and-pages.blogspot.com/